Dake

Jacob has just recently turned 18. He is a computer technician with a surprisingly humbled attitude... Considering he's a teenage boy. Not puffed up or proud (at least not obviously, perhaps he is so sure of himself he just doesn't think it necessary to tell us about it, because, of course, it's in-our-face perfection), Jacob is also a great conversationalist. We like to call him Dake...

  Me: So Dake, whats up?
Dake: I'm not doing a stupid interview with you.
  Me: Please! Just one, please!
Dake: First things first, you're calling me 'Dake' and I don't like that.
  Me: Okay, I'll call you Jacob then.
Jacob: Nope, you'll call me 'Jake'.
  Me: Fine, whatever. So, did you buy me a nice present for Christmas this year? Maybe two of them?
Jake: Nope.
  Me: I'm gonna cry.
Jake: Christmas is supposed to be a time when we enjoy each others company, not presents.
  Me: I'm only interested in the presents... Just joking, but I'm gonna remember that when I go Christmas shopping for you, Jake (I might mention it to Mom as well)!
Jake: So you'd rather have presents then the whole family for Christmas? Cos, you know, the more family there is, the more presents you get.
  Me: So you're also in it for the presents! Ha! And I thought you were mature.
Jake: You weren't supposed to figure that out.
  Me: Oh, no! What have I done! Yeah, whatever. What do you want for Christmas?
Jake: A BlackBerry.
  Me: That's stupid. Everyone has one, now you too? Give me a break!
Jake: Okay, an iPhone then.
  Me: You are gonna be one disappointed kid come Christmas time.
Jake: South Africa rocks!
  Me: Okay... Sure. Any ideas on what I should get for Mom and Dad? For Christmas?
Jake: A bucket of chocolate. That's what I would want.
  Me: A bucket? Why a bucket? And I asked what you think Mom and Dad would want, not you.
Jake: So that they can get a lot of chocolate... I'll eat all the other chocolates they get and they won't even notice it.
  Me: You're a naughty boy, Dake. I think you've had enough for one day, you can go and have a nap now, you big baby.
Jake: I'm not a kid! I'm not a baby! I don't take naps anymore.
  Me: Nightie night, baby Jake.
Jake: I'm still not a baby! (In a deep, manly voice) I'm a man!
  Me: Yes, aren't you so cute! Of course you're a man, little one.
Jake: Men are not cute.
  Me: Some of them are... But you're right, you're not one of them. I think our interview is over, thanks Jake.
Jake: Whatever.